Wish you were here  / Amanda Smith (Friend)

You would have turned 24 today Loralie turns 3 on Sunday.  It cracks me up at how much like you she is.  Between you and me I was always the more reserved one.  I usually had the bright idea to try something but was too afraid to do it.  You just jumped in and tried whatever it was.  She is so brave and so theatrical.  She loves this new movie about the Three Muskateers.  She acts out every scene for us now.  I've been thinking that when she's old enough I'd love for her to do the children's theater I just wish you were here to help her.  You know I don't know anything about that sort of stuff but I know you'd be great at it.  I often wonder if by now if you would have one of your own.  How Loralie and I would be so different if you were still here.  I don't make it to the cemetary as often as I used to but sometimes it get hard.  I miss you so much and love you even more than that!

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Hello Bruce  / Doug Castanedo
Been a while since we spoke! My heart goes out to you ... I can't imagine anything happening to any of my children... they say time heals a broken heart but there is no way that is possible when it is your child. I pray that God would heal your heart as best as can be done and help you feel her presence watching over you. watching out for you... her loving Dad! Your Friend Doug Close

Another Year Passes  / Bruce (Dad)

It was 3 years ago today that we lost you. Three of the hardest years of my life end today; and another begins. I miss you no less today than day 1.  I could not have imagined today back then but I am still here to fulfill my purpose; I'd rather it be you fulfilling yours. When I think of you which is every day I either smile and laugh remembering something you said or did; or my heart aches like I never imagined because you are not here with me.

I'm working (when I can handle it) on telling this story so your legacy lives on and maybe it will help another as you have already helped so many and died trying to help one more. I will make sure that all who read your story will know the warmth and tenderness of your heart and the strength and determination of your soul. You are and were one of a kind.

I love you Kristen.   - Dad

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Finally Coming to Terms  / Amanda Taylor-Smith (friend)

I have come to this site so often to post, but either I would again become angry or so depressed I could not finish.  But I think I'm finally ready.

Kristen,

I am so sorry for letting you go and not saying I was sorry.  Since we were three our mom's came up w/ the idea of taking turns apologizing, this time it was my turn but I was so selfish.  The only reason I did not make you maid of honor was to spite you for making me the last bridesmaid at your wedding.  I felt jilted because we had been friends practically our whole lives.  We were there for each other through everything: my daddy dying, your getting diabetes, every broken heart, and new love.  I got your bridesmaid dress anyway,  I felt if you would just come back and apologize for running off and not letting us know that I would make you maid of honor.  I needed you those months leading up to the wedding.  I was too proud to let you know though.  I had heard that you were back in town the weekend of the wedding.  I just knew that when I walked down that aisle your face would be the first I'd see, beaming at me with those sparkling eyes and big dimples b/c you'd know you had shown me and scared me.  But you weren't there.  I was so heartbroken.  I was there for you.  Even when your divorce came around you called me at Tech to come meet you b/c as always you felt if I approved then the world would not judge you.  I needed you and you weren't there and it hurt more than anything.  I carried that pain for a year and when I found out I was pregnant I just wanted to leave you out of it.  I didn't want you to know so you would know pain of missing out.  The week before you died I had just told mom my heart was softening and I missed you.  She told me to not let anger and foolishness stand in the way of our friendship. And then you left us all.  At first I thought it was you being selfish.  I wanted to know how could you go with out letting me apologize and let you know how much I truly did love you.   And now I can't.  I have tried everything for three years to comfort myself and try anything to let you know I'm sorry.  When I talk to our old friends, trying to get this off my chest, they can't understand my pain.  Only you would. So much has happened in my life, I wish you were here.  I wish you could see loralie.  She was born on the 11th of October that year.  Your birthday was on Monday, her's on Weds, and mine on Sat.  I felt like that was a sign she would be a perfect mix of both our personalities.  People said when I suffered so much after your death that I would mark her.  And I pray I did.  I want her to have your courage and confidence.  Not be as self-aware and I was and worry about what other people think.  I want her to follow her heart and not her mind like you.  I don't know how I can let her know how much you meant to me.  I want her to go to PreK and meet a little girl at the front door and them immediatly become friends for life.  I never want her to feel what I feel now.  I wish you could read this.  I wish you could know how I feel.  I wish you could know how I need you.

Amanda

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Very Special  / Sarah Crotwell (Friend)
I had the honor the call Kristen my friend for years and my life is completely different thanks to her always being on my back now I know she was only trying to steer me in the right direction and I never got the chance to thank her because she was gone too fast so I'm gonna say thanks now THANKS. I think your even around me still just keep me from messing up stay close I need it. Love and Miss you Close

"Angel" performed live at the AMA's  / Bruce Barker (Dad)

If you attended Kristen's funeral, then this video will touch you deeply.  If you were unable to attend, you'lll still feel the emotion. Just copy and paste in your browser.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzO3D4rxtuk

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Loving You!!!  / Momma (momma)

I don't even know where to begin:

My baby girl was the most amazing person I have ever met.  I don't know why I was chosen to be the mother of such a talented, loving, sweet, kind, intelligent and precious human being, but I am so very glad that God chose to put us together!  Kristen was the light that made my days shine.  It is so very difficult without her here!!!!!!!  From the first smile on her little chubby face to the last smile she shared with me, I will ever be grateful.  She was always so very far ahead of the times.  We weren't only mother and daughter, we were best friends.  You know, she was always so afraid something would happen to me, to take me away from her----and then she left me...........................she lets me know that she is with me daily.  I miss her licking my face and belly laughing.  I miss her laughter and her abounding sense of humor.  I miss our talks, she always new just what to say.  She could always make me laugh!!!!!  Kristen gave much thought to all things, she was very strong headed and strong willed.  She loved God and valued familyl.  She has two brothers, Ben (13 yrs.) and John David (10), who worshiped the ground she walked on and still do.  She loved them tremendously!!
We were just she and I for several years----through it all we grew closer and closer.  She has taught me so much and continues to!!!

Thank you, my baby girl!!!!!!!

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IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 4 YEARS  / BEN HUTTO (HUSBAND&FRIEND)
THIS YEAR WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR 4TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. I WATCHED THE VIDEO OF OUR MARRIAGE A LITTLE WHILE AGO AND COULDN'T STOP THE TEARS AND SMILES AND LAUGHTER. WHAT A HAPPY DAY THAT WAS! WHAT A MEMORY! DEC. 12TH, 2003 LIVES ON IN MY MIND AS ONE OF THE GREATEST AND MOST DEFINING MOMENTS IN MY LIFE. I LOVE YOU KRIS!

BRUCE, IF YOU EVER WANT OR NEED A COPY OF THAT TAPE(I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT OR NOT)FEEL FREE TO ASK ME. I WOULD BE GLAD TO SHARE THE HAPPINESS OF THAT DAY WITH ANYONE WHO WANTS IT. Close

A Special Young Lady...  / Elizabeth Jones
Bruce, 

What a wonderful way to honor Kristen.  Kristen's beauty and talent shine through.  The love that you have for each other is very special.

Thank you for sharing this with all who have known or been touched by Kristen.

Peace Always,

Beth Close

Thinking about you...  / Julie Crider (Friend of her Dad )
Bruce,
Kudos on this wonderful tribute to your daughter. Her smile is contagious you know. 
Strength and peace to you and your family.
Julie Close